GROCERY SHOPPING

I am a pretty organized person by nature.  It's just part of my personality, and I have always been that way, even as a child.  My daughter shares this trait with me, and it brings a smile to my face when she gets excited to clean out our toys, sort through the books on her bookshelf, or go through her closet to switch clothes for the next season.

While I love finding new ways to stay organized, I do not love shopping.  It is just not my thing.  On a beautiful, sunny day, I would much rather be home doing just about anything than at the grocery store, mall, or Target.

Of course, with a family of four, there are certain things that we need to buy and as a stay-at-home mom, doing the shopping is really part of my job.  So, I have found what seems to me to be the most efficient and organized way to accomplish the family shopping.  Today's post will focus on grocery shopping, but I will talk about other errands in future posts.

Top 7 Things to Make My Grocery Shopping Efficient

1.  Create a Meal Plan.  I always try to sit down on the weekend for about a half hour and plan my upcoming week, which includes meal planning.  I know some people plan out all of their meals, but I usually just plan dinner.  I literally take a piece of loose-leaf paper and write the days of the week in the left margin. Then, I just write the dinner next to it.  We usually have a main course, starch, and two veggies (or fruit).

I take out my calendar and see what we have going on for the week and how much time we will have to prepare and eat dinner each night.  This might sound strange, but I also check the weather forecast.  If the weather looks really humid one day, I might not choose to use the oven (we do not have central air conditioning) or if it looks like a very hot day, we might end up taking a day trip the beach, so we might not have much time for dinner.  Obviously, the weather changes, but at least I have a basic plan.

One more thing about meal planning---I keep meals simple on week nights.  I choose one night to make breakfast for dinner, one night for pasta or homemade pizza, usually a couple of nights for chicken or fish, and one night for ground beef.  On the weekend, I try to cook one special dinner and then usually one really easy night, like leftovers or sandwiches.

2. Flyers and Coupons.  Next, I take the flyers for two local grocery stores and make a list of what is on sale that our family uses.  When something is on sale that keeps for a while (like cereal or even orange juice), I usually buy 6 at a time to stock up.

I also keep a coupon file (small, purse-size one) in my kitchen.  Before grocery shopping, I look through my coupons to see if any are due to expire and if I want to add those items to my list.

3.  Printable Grocery List:  I have created a grocery list as a Word document on my computer. It is organized the way our local Market Basket is organized, so it keeps me organized once I am in the store. It is written in a check list style, so I print it out (3 pages) and walk through our kitchen, checking off what we need.  I have lots of extra margin room on the pages, so I can write down sale prices or other notes.

4.  Shop Once and On Weekdays:  I normally do one big grocery shopping trip once a week, usually on the same day each week (right now, that day is Monday).  I almost always go when the kids are at school or at night, avoiding daytime on the weekends whenever possible.  Our store is so crowded on weekends that it is just not an effective use of my time.  It literally takes twice as long, and I usually leave the store exhausted and weary.

5.  Get Ready:  If my printable list has a lot of notes on it, I might re-write it onto a simple vertical notepad. That way, it is very pared down and a smaller size, so it is easy to hold while shopping.  I put all the coupons I am going to use in my wallet, put my list in my purse, and have it all ready to do once my son gets on the bus.

6.  Post-Shopping Review:  Usually, once I get home from grocery shopping, I do a quick check over my list and make a note of the items I could not get at Market Basket, our primary grocery store.  If there are a few things we really need, I will then know that I need to make another trip, this time to Stop and Shop.  I usually go there another day of the week.

7.  Keep Shelves and Storage for Stocking Up:  We have shelves and an extra refrigerator in the basement, where I can keep extra items on which I have stocked up. To me, that is one of the biggest money savers---when items go on sale, I always try to stock up.  You just need a space to keep those things, so we have made a small space for this in the basement, which has really worked for us.

A PARTY TO REMEMBER

This past weekend was one of the most special and memorable weekends of my life.  My sister and I threw a combined birthday party for our parents, who each celebrated a milestone birthday during the past five months.  We ended up having 35 friends and family to dinner at a lovely restaurant in a very scenic location.

My sister and I have been planning this party since December, so a lot of time, effort, and love went into it.  We gave a beautiful toast in the form of a poem with an accompanying slide show.  We included photos of our parents as children, as well as, photos of them with all their friends who were present a the party.

Most of the guests were my parents' friends, with the exception of my aunt and uncle, who traveled quite a distance to be there and were the guests of honor.  My parents have amazing groups of friends.  I spent time visiting with each couple and they are truly very good people with strong family values, loyalty to their friends, and a determination to have fun in life.

My father has a friend from his childhood whom he has known for approximately 65 years.  They have had an amazing friendship over the years and shared so many memories together.  This special friend and his wife attended the party and he delivered the most heartfelt, thoughtful toast.  Just the idea of him knowing my dad so well brought tears to my eyes.

Although the party turned out beautifully, planning it was certainly not easy or quick.  In fact, in planning this party, we encountered many snags.  We had a hard time finding a date that would work.  We wondered if it would be too expensive.  We didn't know if it was appropriate considering personal events that had occurred relatively recently in some of my parents' friends' lives.  We ended up switching restaurants at one point and asking for a refund of our deposit.

Also, as a mother, I knew that it would require a lot of time away from my family in the months leading up to the party, so I could really focus on the party and the planning process.  I wondered if it would be worth the sacrifice to my own immediate family.  In order to travel with us for the actual party weekend, each of my children had to miss a team game, they had to complete school projects in advance, and they didn't get much rest that weekend.

In the end, we postponed it a couple of months and then plowed ahead, determined to make it happen.  It was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life.  To see my parents surrounded by so many close friends, to feel the love and joy in the room, and to all laugh and be happy that night was something I will never forget.  

My parents have always had a lot of friends. They have made a lot of strong friendships over the years, living in the same place for almost 40 years and not living very close to family.  They are caring, generous, and fun people who have always made friends easily -  friends with lots of different interests, but all with strong family values and even stronger character.

The party was worth every sacrifice my immediate family made.  My kids got to visit with their cousins, and even though they did not attend the party (they were with a babysitter), they got to see their grandparents and some of our family friends the next morning.  They knew what I was planning and they were able to realize that it was a labor of love and joy.

I am so grateful to God for the way the entire weekend unfolded.  The weather was gorgeous, the friends and family were plentiful, the restaurant was a perfect setting, and my parents were radiant.  As my sister and I chatted late at night after the party, we both said we felt sad that it was over, we wished it was still yet to come, but most of all, we were overjoyed with how it all played out.  It was, without a doubt, one of the most memorable times of my life.

GREAT PARENTING BOOK

Recently, I read the most wonderful parenting book called Strong Mothers, Strong Sons by Dr. Meg Meeker.  Dr. Meeker is someone I've heard interviewed several times and have come to really trust for parenting insights.  She has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years and is the mother of four children.  She has also written other books that I highly recommend:

The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
Boys Should be Boys
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

Strong Mothers, Strong Sons is a lengthy read, but it is so worth it.  I'll admit that when I first got it, I was a bit overwhelmed, but I just read a little bit each night and plowed right through it.  Truthfully, most nights I didn't want to put it down.  Her writing style keeps it moving with lots of headings and sub-headings.  She also intersperses real-life stories from mothers and sons who were her patients or whom she interviewed for this book.

In one of my favorite chapters in this book, Dr. Meeker talks about the importance of following our mother's intuition and acting on what we believe.  She gives an example of a community where underage drinking was encouraged and fostered by the parents, even those who really didn't think it was right.  They had become confused about what was right and wrong and were acting contrary to their intuition.  She says, "The fact that you are your son's mother is no accident.  He didn't get your best friend as his mother; he got you."  I agree with Dr. Meeker.  As mothers, we need to believe in ourselves and stand up for what we believe in, even if it goes against what society is telling us to do.

Dr. Meeker, in Strong Mothers, Strong Sons, provides wonderful inspiration for mothers of boys of all ages, right through the teen years.  This is not a discipline book, but rather a thoughtful look at how mothers can be good mothers to their sons.  She writes, "This is a survival manual for mothers who adore their sons."  It is such a special relationship.  She writes about how to talk to your son, what to do when he targets you and wages war against you, and how you can help him find meaning in his life, teach him about God, and teach him about wisdom and responsibility.

It is an empowering book that challenges mothers to love their sons, teach them to become good men, and then let them go when the time comes.  This book has really made me take a step back and think about my relationship with my son, who is only 6 and still likes to cuddle, but who is growing up fast and will need my support and encouragement to grow up right.

GRATITUDE FOR FAMILY

I married into a wonderful family.  My husband has a brother and a sister who have hearts of gold---and I mean that.  They are some of the only people I have ever met who truly do not judge others and give generously of their time and resources to other family members.

One example of how blessed we are by this amazing family occurred last weekend.  My husband's brother called Sunday afternoon to see if our children would like him to come over, bring them to a local baseball field, and practice baseball and softball with them.  My kids were so excited that they started cheering and jumping up and down.  Here they are in the yard waiting for him to arrive:

My brother-in-law played college baseball and then coached some local teams, so he is really talented and a great teacher.  He has practiced with our kids the past several years, comes to at least one game each season, and bought our son his first baseball bat.  This wonderful uncle, however, is how happily married and the father of an adorable 9-month-old baby girl.

So, his visit this weekend was quite an act of love.  His wife was busy with her own family, so this amazing uncle packed up the baby, drove the half hour to our house, and played with our kids for quite a long time.  By the time they came back, it was dinner time and they were so happy and delighted with their play time.  And, as an incredible bonus, my husband and I got to watch our precious niece during this time.  There is nothing like being with the sweetest baby girl to make your heart sing.

We are so blessed to be part of this loving and giving family, and I treasure the times we have together. In this crazy busy world, it is so nice to stop and give thanks for afternoons like this where an impromptu visit with family makes us feel so truly happy.

PATIENCE

At the end of 2013, I read a blog post in which a mother mentioned that she chooses a "Word for the Year" to apply to herself.  I thought that sounded like a great idea---just one word to think about all year through and on which I would really focus.

So, I decided to give it a try for 2014.  I chose the word "patience" as my word to focus on all year.  I chose "patience" for several reasons:

1.  I want to be more patient with my husband and really listen to him.
2.  I want to be more patient with my children so that we have a more relaxed atmosphere around our home.
3.  I want to be more patient with myself so that I give myself a little grace when things aren't going according to plan.

I wrote the word "patience" in colorful letters on an index card and placed it in a conspicuous place for me---right in the middle of the top of my dresser.  That way, I can see it every day in the morning and at night and even at other times when I am cleaning or putting laundry away.  You could even post several reminders around the house, but I wanted to put my card in a place that was personal to me.

Now that June is beginning, I was thinking about my word, as it has been 5 full months since I selected it.  I have decided that I love having a word for the year.  It does motivate me when I see it each day.  I am not sure if I am a more patient person (I guess you would have to interview my family to determine that), but I know that I am thinking about it much more often, and for me, that is half the battle.

If you are interested in trying out this idea, you could try it for the second half of 2014, starting July 1.  Just spend a few minutes thinking carefully about the word you would like to choose---something you really want to focus on that would make a difference in your life.  Then, write it down and post it in a prominent place for you.

I am trying so hard lately to live a deliberate life and to act intentionally every day, and this little note is a gentle reminder of the person I want to be.  This one small action has had a positive influence on my life and was certainly worth the few minutes of reflection that I took in order to choose my word.  I am excited to keep focusing on patience for the remainder of 2014.

ONE SMALL WORD

Beautiful Day

Today was a beautiful spring day.  Unfortunately, we have not had many days like this in New England this year.  My daughter got off the bus proclaiming, "I have no homework today!"  In the next breath, she asked, "Can we go to the playground?" She had been practicing some gymnastics moves on the bars during recess and wanted to show them to me.

Initial Doubt

I won't lie, my initial thought was:  If we go to the playground, I won't get anything done around the house.  I had some housework I wanted to finish as well as some things I was doing on the computer.  If we stayed home, the kids could play outside and I could finish what I was doing in the house.

Saying "Yes"

But then I looked at my 9-year-old daughter and realized that there won't be many more times that she begs to go to the playground.  In 9 short years, she'll be off to college.  I looked into her face and saw her excitement and so I said "Yes. We can go."

It was last minute, so even though I texted several friends to see if anyone wanted to meet us, we ended up at the park alone.  It was just the three of us, but my kids played with each other like best friends.  We all enjoyed the sunshine and beautiful, clear day, and I felt so happy that I had dropped what I was doing to enjoy life and let my kids have fun.

I am so glad I told my daughter "yes."  That one small word made life so much richer today.

SAY NO

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how I spend my time.  It is so easy to feel like there are not enough hours in the day.  My "to-do" list is so long and it seems like it just grows and grows.  Also, I don't want to spend my life just checking off items on my list---I also want some time with my family, some personal time, time to read, time to visit with friends, etc...  How do we make it all work?

I have come to the conclusion that there are two main things I can do to help me get through my list and still have that margin time that I crave.  First, I have to use the time I have wisely---no more wasting time surfing the Web or mindlessly watching TV at night.  I can still do those things, but I want to do them more intentionally and severely limit the time that I waste on these activities in a mindless way.  It just seems that they can be major time suckers and I want to change these habits that I have developed so that I can have "more" time each day.

Second, I think that I have to learn how to "say no" to many (probably most) of the requests I get to help with various school activities.  I feel like there is a fine line to walk---I want to be involved with my kids' schools and in their classrooms, but I also don't want to over-commit myself so that I am stressed out and exhausted from participating in all these school events.

Now that this school year is about to end, I have been thinking about how I feel about each of the activities in which I have been involved at school this year.  There are some volunteer positions for which I will not be volunteering again next year.  It is hard to say no, but it is so necessary if we feel like we cannot keep on top of everything at home.

If I want to have more time with my husband and more fun time with my children, then I have to prioritize that and make room for it in my life.  I can do that by scaling back on some school commitments.  For example, this year I am a room parent for both of my children's classes.  I have done this the past 4 years.  It can be fun at times, but now mostly seems to be about collecting money, which I don't enjoy and actually find somewhat stressful.  I have decided that I will not be a room parent next year and I feel good about that decision.

Another example is that this spring I am teaching Junior Achievement for my son's class. When they asked for volunteers, no one volunteered from his class, so they came right out and asked me.  I couldn't say no.  The kids are adorable and I enjoy the classroom time with my son, but it involves about an hour of prep work each week and then the teaching time, and this lasts for 5 weeks.  It is just too much time for me, so next year, I will not volunteer for this activity.

So, my plan is to work hard to be deliberate about how I use my time on-line and watching TV and also to "say no" more often to school commitments.  Then, hopefully, I will feel like I have more time to accomplish items on my "to do" list and spend with my family.