A PARTY TO REMEMBER

This past weekend was one of the most special and memorable weekends of my life.  My sister and I threw a combined birthday party for our parents, who each celebrated a milestone birthday during the past five months.  We ended up having 35 friends and family to dinner at a lovely restaurant in a very scenic location.

My sister and I have been planning this party since December, so a lot of time, effort, and love went into it.  We gave a beautiful toast in the form of a poem with an accompanying slide show.  We included photos of our parents as children, as well as, photos of them with all their friends who were present a the party.

Most of the guests were my parents' friends, with the exception of my aunt and uncle, who traveled quite a distance to be there and were the guests of honor.  My parents have amazing groups of friends.  I spent time visiting with each couple and they are truly very good people with strong family values, loyalty to their friends, and a determination to have fun in life.

My father has a friend from his childhood whom he has known for approximately 65 years.  They have had an amazing friendship over the years and shared so many memories together.  This special friend and his wife attended the party and he delivered the most heartfelt, thoughtful toast.  Just the idea of him knowing my dad so well brought tears to my eyes.

Although the party turned out beautifully, planning it was certainly not easy or quick.  In fact, in planning this party, we encountered many snags.  We had a hard time finding a date that would work.  We wondered if it would be too expensive.  We didn't know if it was appropriate considering personal events that had occurred relatively recently in some of my parents' friends' lives.  We ended up switching restaurants at one point and asking for a refund of our deposit.

Also, as a mother, I knew that it would require a lot of time away from my family in the months leading up to the party, so I could really focus on the party and the planning process.  I wondered if it would be worth the sacrifice to my own immediate family.  In order to travel with us for the actual party weekend, each of my children had to miss a team game, they had to complete school projects in advance, and they didn't get much rest that weekend.

In the end, we postponed it a couple of months and then plowed ahead, determined to make it happen.  It was one of the best decisions I have ever made in my entire life.  To see my parents surrounded by so many close friends, to feel the love and joy in the room, and to all laugh and be happy that night was something I will never forget.  

My parents have always had a lot of friends. They have made a lot of strong friendships over the years, living in the same place for almost 40 years and not living very close to family.  They are caring, generous, and fun people who have always made friends easily -  friends with lots of different interests, but all with strong family values and even stronger character.

The party was worth every sacrifice my immediate family made.  My kids got to visit with their cousins, and even though they did not attend the party (they were with a babysitter), they got to see their grandparents and some of our family friends the next morning.  They knew what I was planning and they were able to realize that it was a labor of love and joy.

I am so grateful to God for the way the entire weekend unfolded.  The weather was gorgeous, the friends and family were plentiful, the restaurant was a perfect setting, and my parents were radiant.  As my sister and I chatted late at night after the party, we both said we felt sad that it was over, we wished it was still yet to come, but most of all, we were overjoyed with how it all played out.  It was, without a doubt, one of the most memorable times of my life.

GREAT PARENTING BOOK

Recently, I read the most wonderful parenting book called Strong Mothers, Strong Sons by Dr. Meg Meeker.  Dr. Meeker is someone I've heard interviewed several times and have come to really trust for parenting insights.  She has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years and is the mother of four children.  She has also written other books that I highly recommend:

The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers
Boys Should be Boys
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters

Strong Mothers, Strong Sons is a lengthy read, but it is so worth it.  I'll admit that when I first got it, I was a bit overwhelmed, but I just read a little bit each night and plowed right through it.  Truthfully, most nights I didn't want to put it down.  Her writing style keeps it moving with lots of headings and sub-headings.  She also intersperses real-life stories from mothers and sons who were her patients or whom she interviewed for this book.

In one of my favorite chapters in this book, Dr. Meeker talks about the importance of following our mother's intuition and acting on what we believe.  She gives an example of a community where underage drinking was encouraged and fostered by the parents, even those who really didn't think it was right.  They had become confused about what was right and wrong and were acting contrary to their intuition.  She says, "The fact that you are your son's mother is no accident.  He didn't get your best friend as his mother; he got you."  I agree with Dr. Meeker.  As mothers, we need to believe in ourselves and stand up for what we believe in, even if it goes against what society is telling us to do.

Dr. Meeker, in Strong Mothers, Strong Sons, provides wonderful inspiration for mothers of boys of all ages, right through the teen years.  This is not a discipline book, but rather a thoughtful look at how mothers can be good mothers to their sons.  She writes, "This is a survival manual for mothers who adore their sons."  It is such a special relationship.  She writes about how to talk to your son, what to do when he targets you and wages war against you, and how you can help him find meaning in his life, teach him about God, and teach him about wisdom and responsibility.

It is an empowering book that challenges mothers to love their sons, teach them to become good men, and then let them go when the time comes.  This book has really made me take a step back and think about my relationship with my son, who is only 6 and still likes to cuddle, but who is growing up fast and will need my support and encouragement to grow up right.

GRATITUDE FOR FAMILY

I married into a wonderful family.  My husband has a brother and a sister who have hearts of gold---and I mean that.  They are some of the only people I have ever met who truly do not judge others and give generously of their time and resources to other family members.

One example of how blessed we are by this amazing family occurred last weekend.  My husband's brother called Sunday afternoon to see if our children would like him to come over, bring them to a local baseball field, and practice baseball and softball with them.  My kids were so excited that they started cheering and jumping up and down.  Here they are in the yard waiting for him to arrive:

My brother-in-law played college baseball and then coached some local teams, so he is really talented and a great teacher.  He has practiced with our kids the past several years, comes to at least one game each season, and bought our son his first baseball bat.  This wonderful uncle, however, is how happily married and the father of an adorable 9-month-old baby girl.

So, his visit this weekend was quite an act of love.  His wife was busy with her own family, so this amazing uncle packed up the baby, drove the half hour to our house, and played with our kids for quite a long time.  By the time they came back, it was dinner time and they were so happy and delighted with their play time.  And, as an incredible bonus, my husband and I got to watch our precious niece during this time.  There is nothing like being with the sweetest baby girl to make your heart sing.

We are so blessed to be part of this loving and giving family, and I treasure the times we have together. In this crazy busy world, it is so nice to stop and give thanks for afternoons like this where an impromptu visit with family makes us feel so truly happy.

PATIENCE

At the end of 2013, I read a blog post in which a mother mentioned that she chooses a "Word for the Year" to apply to herself.  I thought that sounded like a great idea---just one word to think about all year through and on which I would really focus.

So, I decided to give it a try for 2014.  I chose the word "patience" as my word to focus on all year.  I chose "patience" for several reasons:

1.  I want to be more patient with my husband and really listen to him.
2.  I want to be more patient with my children so that we have a more relaxed atmosphere around our home.
3.  I want to be more patient with myself so that I give myself a little grace when things aren't going according to plan.

I wrote the word "patience" in colorful letters on an index card and placed it in a conspicuous place for me---right in the middle of the top of my dresser.  That way, I can see it every day in the morning and at night and even at other times when I am cleaning or putting laundry away.  You could even post several reminders around the house, but I wanted to put my card in a place that was personal to me.

Now that June is beginning, I was thinking about my word, as it has been 5 full months since I selected it.  I have decided that I love having a word for the year.  It does motivate me when I see it each day.  I am not sure if I am a more patient person (I guess you would have to interview my family to determine that), but I know that I am thinking about it much more often, and for me, that is half the battle.

If you are interested in trying out this idea, you could try it for the second half of 2014, starting July 1.  Just spend a few minutes thinking carefully about the word you would like to choose---something you really want to focus on that would make a difference in your life.  Then, write it down and post it in a prominent place for you.

I am trying so hard lately to live a deliberate life and to act intentionally every day, and this little note is a gentle reminder of the person I want to be.  This one small action has had a positive influence on my life and was certainly worth the few minutes of reflection that I took in order to choose my word.  I am excited to keep focusing on patience for the remainder of 2014.